


Here For You

by SilverMoonSky



Series: Marichat May 2020 [7]
Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir Identity Reveal, Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir Is Not Okay, Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir Needs a Hug, Aged-Up Character(s), Angst, Bad Parent Gabriel Agreste, Bittersweet, Chat Blanc - Freeform, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Gabriel Agreste is an Asshole, Gen, Hurt Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir, Hurt/Comfort, Identity Reveal, Marichat May 2020, Post-Hawk Moth Defeat, and Chat used to like Ladybug and now he likes Mari, as in Mari used to like Adrien but now she likes Chat, reverse love square, that's not really relevant in this story though but i thought I'd mention it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-12
Updated: 2020-05-12
Packaged: 2021-03-03 04:55:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,356
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24139240
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SilverMoonSky/pseuds/SilverMoonSky
Summary: Hawk Moth has finally been defeated, but the aftermath is anything but pleasant, and Chat can't help but blame himself. Luckily Marinette is there for him.Written for Day 11: Chat Blanc for Marichat May.
Relationships: Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir/Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug
Series: Marichat May 2020 [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1726804
Comments: 19
Kudos: 248





	Here For You

**Author's Note:**

> I just realized I _technically_ haven't written a reveal for Marichat May yet, which surprised me because I assumed I had already. So this is what this fic is :) Also, this Chat Blanc isn't related to the season 3 episode in any way; it's an AU of the sort.
> 
> Hope you enjoy :)

It should’ve been the best moment in their superhero careers. Unmasking Hawk Moth. It was all Ladybug and Chat Noir had dreamed of since first putting on their Miraculouses all those years ago. Defeating Hawk Moth would finally put an end to the constant akumas that had terrorized Paris for years. Hundreds of innocent people would finally be able to go to bed peacefully without worrying about yet another magical force wreaking havoc and hurting their families and friends. And, maybe, just maybe, the superheroes could finally go back to living a normal life.

But in the end, the final fight against Hawk Moth had brought Chat none of those feelings. Instead, figuring out Hawk Moth’s identity had left him feeling empty. Alone. Dreadful. Emotions he’d never realized existed within him came up to the surface. Hatred. Sheer anger. Plain, raw hurt. How had he never seen it? How had he never known? How had he been beside the same man that moonlighted as a supervillain for _years_ and never questioned it _?_

How had he failed Ladybug and Paris so badly?

It was as if a fog had finally lifted and showed him his father’s true light. Because it made sense; all of those nights he’d eaten alone, all of the times his father had rescheduled things and conveniently forgotten to show up. . . . it was because he was a supervillain. A supervillain that had been fighting against his own _son_ for years. And when Hawk Moth realized that, he didn’t surrender or beg for mercy. No, he instead believed he could draw Chat to his side. To use the knowledge he had against them.

It was in those moments he’d sunken to his lowest. Chat was torn. He barely remembered himself screaming at his father and drawing out his cataclysm as the akuma came to him and landed on his baton. But instead of fighting it like a proper superhero would have, Chat let it consume him. The akuma allowed him to exert all the horror and sadness and anger, and no he shouldn’t have done it, he should’ve fought it, he shouldn’t have allowed his emotions get the best of him--

The dark magic filled him within. All he could think was, _this feels wrong._

But he couldn’t fight it.

He hated himself for not being able to fight it.

Yet in the end, what he felt didn’t matter. Chat let his emotions consume him. It was as simple as that. He hadn’t been strong enough. And so it ate him up faster and faster. He saw Ladybug’s horrified expression, he saw Paris, the city of lights, the city of love, shining below them, he saw _everything_ he was fighting for, and yet he let the energy consume him. He _let_ himself wield the ultimate power of destruction. He _let_ himself get turned into Chat Blanc.

He didn’t fight it--

It was his fault--

He did this to Paris, to Ladybug, to everyone who’d been counting on him--

He’d _failed._

The incident still brought him nightmares, even days after the fight. He didn’t remember his time as Chat Blanc--all he had were vague memories and footage--but what he _did_ remember was the exhaustion on Ladybug’s face as the butterfly fluttered away. The tears in her eyes as she embraced him. The soft whispers as they cried together and she told him it wasn’t his fault.

Only she was lying. It was his fault. Nothing would ever change that.

Later he found out that he had spent nearly three days akumatized. He also figured out that Hawk Moth had finally been defeated. The fact should’ve brought him joy; after all, the supervillain that had terrorized Paris was _finally_ gone. They would never have to fight another innocent person again. Paris would be safe, and they would be too.

But the memories were still there. They always would be.

And because of that, they would never fully heal.

Days passed. All anyone could talk about was Hawk Moth’s defeat. It was all over the news--how Chat Noir had gotten akumatized, how Ladybug and the rest of the Miraculous team had fought desperately against him, and how finally, Hawk Moth had been defeated once Chat Blanc had been freed. It was exhausting. Every single day he woke up to the same thing.

He wondered when everyone would forget about it. But the truth was, no one would.

Despite the fact that he’d been akumatized, Chat found it a lot more bearable to be his alter ego than to be Adrien Agreste. After all, no one knew why Chat had been akumatized, and with Ladybug telling everyone it wasn’t his fault, the press mostly stayed away. But with Adrien? It was as if everyone had finally been waiting for the moment Paris’s golden boy would snap. He could barely step out of the mansion now without being bombarded by the press and tabloids just waiting for a scandal.

It was why he found himself slipping out of the mansion whenever he could, just to get away from everything happening around him. It was why on this particular night, Chat was sitting on a very familiar rooftop--the same one where he’d confessed his love to Ladybug all those years ago.

It seemed so silly now, so superficial. So much had happened since then. When he thought about it now, his love for Ladybug back then had been a lot of things. Thoughtful, passionate, carefree. But what it hadn’t been. . . . was mature.

He’d learned a lot since then, though. And while he may not necessarily love her in that way anymore, she would always hold his heart as his first love.

 _She probably hates me,_ Chat mused as he stared at the full moon in the sky. _Not that I blame her. If I were her, I’d hate me too._

He hadn’t seen his partner since the fight. Chat didn’t really mind though; he couldn’t really face Ladybug right now. He couldn’t stand to see the disappointment that she was bound to be feeling. He was sure she was dealing with other civilian stuff now, and he wasn’t able to bother her. Perhaps she was finally able to live a normal life now, just like she’d always wanted.

(It made him the tiniest bit jealous that Ladybug would be able to move on from all this in her civilian life. But for him? The Agreste name would forever be tainted by what had happened, and it wasn’t as if everyone was simply going to forget about this. He would always be known as Hawk Moth’s son. He would never be able to escape that.)

Chat sniffed. He was happy for her, really. Ladybug deserved that. She’d worked so hard for Paris in these past couple of years, and if anyone needed a break, it was her. And yet. . . .

He felt his vision blur. The moon became a pool of light in his eyes as moisture slowly dripped down his cheeks. Suddenly he felt his shoulders shaking, his hands trembling, and he gasped as though he was drowning, desperately needing to come up to the surface but he couldn’t breathe, he needed air but could barely grasp it, something inside him shattered as he realized this would never change and it would always be this way and he was alone and--

“Chat Noir?” A soft voice called.

Chat snapped out of his thoughts. His head whipped around to see Marinette standing on her balcony with a blanket wrapped around her shoulders, biting her lip as though she was worried. But why? It wasn’t like she could possibly be worried for _him._ That was just stupid. After all, there was no need for her to be. He was fine. Just fine.

“Hi Marinette,” he said, giving her a small smile.

“Hey,” she said. “What’re you doing out here so late?”

He quickly wiped the stray tears on his cheeks with a hand. “I just needed to get out for a little while,” he said.

Marinette frowned. “Do you wanna come over?”

Chat was quite sure it was well past midnight at this point, so he shook his head. “I was just about to go, actually, so I don’t think so. Thanks for the offer though.” Besides, he didn’t want to bother her. He was sure she had way better things to do than to spend time with him. So Chat stood up and took out his baton, ready to launch himself back when--

“Chat Noir,” Marinette said sternly. “You’re not going to be bothering me, if that’s why you’re not coming.”

“It’s okay,” he said, “I should probably be getting home anyways--”

“It’s not okay,” Marinette interrupted, crossing her arms over her chest. He blinked at her in surprise.

“What?”

“I said it’s not okay,” she said. Her gaze suddenly softened. “You know you can come over here whenever you want, right? You can talk to me whenever you like. I don’t mind.”

Chat opened his mouth to protest, but closed it when he saw the sincerity on her face. He hesitated. He didn’t want to impose, but if she really didn’t care. . . .

He found his feet moving of their own accord, and soon he was bounding over to her balcony. “Well, you’d be the first,” he said, settling down on her railing. His legs dangled off the edge.

“The first?”

Chat let out a bitter laugh. “Yeah,” he said. “I mean, I was akumatized and I destroyed nearly the entire city. Not many people want to talk to me right now.”

“But that wasn’t your fault,” Marinette said.

He looked away from her. “You’re just saying that to be nice.”

“No I’m not!” Marinette exclaimed. “It’s the truth! You were akumatized!”

“I was akumatized, yes.” Chat looked down at his hands, curling them into fists. “But I’m a superhero. I should’ve fought it.”

“You’re _human_ , Chat,” Marinette said as she placed her hand on his shoulder. He turned to look at her. “Even if you’re a superhero, you’re still human. You have emotions.”

“That doesn’t matter.” Chat blinked back tears. “I hurt so many people. I _destroyed_ the city. I’m supposed to protect Paris, but I--”

“It’s _not_ your fault,” Marinette said sternly. “No one blames you.”

“Well, then they should,” he growled.

“ _No_ one blames you, Chat,” Marinette hissed, surprisingly fierce. “How many times will I have to tell you that to make you believe it?”

 _It doesn’t matter,_ he thought, tears threatening to spill over his eyelids. _It’s still my fault._

When he didn’t respond, Marinette sighed. One of her hands gently cupped his cheek. She turned his face so she could look at him. “Chat,” she whispered, “are you okay?”

Great, now he was crying. “I--I’m fine.”

But Marinette wasn’t having it. She stepped back. The blanket that had been wrapped around her shoulders flitted to the floor as she opened her arms up in his direction. “Come here.”

He didn’t need to be asked twice. Without thinking, Chat got off the railing and wrapped his arms around her. The two of them sank down and sat on her lounge chair as Chat buried his face against her shoulder.

“I--I’m sorry,” he croaked, shaking with sobs. “It’s all my fault, if it wasn’t for me--”

“Shhh,” Marinette murmured, stroking his hair. “Just breathe.”

Chat tried, he really did. But the hurt he felt instead turned into something else, and anger rose to the surface. Anger at the other half of himself, at his civilian self. How had he managed to fail Paris in both forms? How had he failed them as Adrien _and_ as Chat?

It was just too much to handle. And so he let the anger take the reins.

“Adrien Agreste should’ve known his father was Hawk Moth,” Chat growled. “He should’ve known. But instead, he was just too oblivious--”

“Don’t blame Adrien!” Marinette’s eyes blazed with fire, and she suddenly pushed away from him. The warmth Chat had felt from her presence immediately drained. “It’s not his fault!”

“He should’ve known!” Chat hissed.

“How could’ve he?” Marinette asked. “Adrien’s the sweetest person I know! He cares so much about everyone around him! Of course he didn’t know; even though his own father pushed him away, Adrien always tried to improve their relationship. It’s unfair to blame him for what Gabriel did.”

“He’s been living for his father for _years_!” Chat shouted. “He should’ve known whenever his father skipped meals, or when he didn’t show up to events, or when he’d been neglected for months on end--” his voice dropped down into a whisper as his voice cracked. “I--I should’ve known. . . .”

Chat hadn’t meant for her to catch that last part, but Marinette’s eyes widened in shock nonetheless. “What?”

He was shaking. Chat put his head in his hands and turned away from her. Great. Now she knew. She now knew Chat Noir, the superhero that had wreaked the entire city, and Adrien Agreste, the son of Hawk Moth, were one and the same. She’d hate him even more now.

“I should go,” he muttered, standing up, but Marinette caught his arm.

“Chat, look at me.”

“I should go,” he repeated, looking at her. His eyes _begged_ for her to let him go, but instead, her grip only tightened.

“Adrien?” Marinette breathed.

He looked away from her. His silence confirmed it all.

Her face crumbled as if she was in pain, and tears welled in her eyes. “ _Adrien_ ,” she murmured, and suddenly she pulled Chat closer, once again tightly embracing him. He let himself melt into her hug.

“Mari--”

“You’re okay,” she whispered. “I’m here for you. I’ll always be here for you.”

Chat cried harder. He shook with sobs, and he was sure his eyes would be bright red by the end of this. Yet he didn’t care. Despite himself, he didn’t doubt Marinette’s words for even a second. She’d help him through this. Of course she would.

But until then, all he could do was stay in her embrace, clinging onto her like she was his whole world.

**Author's Note:**

> Halfway through I realized this would've made the perfect Ladynoir fic, but alas, it's Marichat May and therefore that's the pairing I have to use. I still love how it turned out though. I've written so many post-Hawk Moth defeat fics with identity reveals, and each time I never get tired of it :P
> 
> This broke my heart and it may or may not have broken yours too, but I hope you liked it :)


End file.
